To many who are still far from 50 , the fact that an adult can fall in love may seem strange. However, the belief that the feeling of falling in love belongs only to young people is wrong .
Unlike what some of you can believe, for an adult to fall in love is not a word lacking meaning. Love in adulthood exists and is always lurking and waiting for the moment to find two souls that still believe in love.
It is precisely this, the fact that it is usually unexpected , one of the most frequent characteristics in mature loves .
It is one of the most exciting sensations that human beings can experience. It is not exclusive to a specific stage of life, and we can often feel it on more than one occasion.
Falling in love is an experience unify us all human beings. It fills us with joy , but also with doubts , euphoric exaltation and at the same time it transports us to a world of confusion . An exciting inner contradiction that is sometimes difficult to understand.
With the first important loves the experience of love is discovered . However, they are not usually very long- lasting , but they will be the transit experience towards other stages of greater consolidation and maturity .
WHEN LOVE RETURNS
After some completed experiences, or even having valued the possibility of being alone, is when these late loves usually appear . An unexpected encounter , a casual conversation that unwittingly connects two unknown worlds until now .
Apparently unknown, because although the lived experiences may be different , the connection that is made is more in depth, in the most authentic and fundamental feelings of the human being.
The experience of years lived should give some advantage, and one of them, is the ability to accept differences . It does not matter if we have had similar experiences or not, if we have the same tastes , it matters the understanding and the respect in accepting them. It is not a question of always agreeing, but rather of accepting the difference and getting involved .
FALLING IN LOVE ON ADULT AGE
The infatuation in adulthood has many advantages , because besides being surrounded by a renewed and very stimulating passion , which provides the ingredient of spontaneity and naturalness, has two very important aspects that give stability and security to the relationship: privacy and commitment.
Passion alone does not allow you to know your partner, however, intimacy makes it possible to know the other person better , this will facilitate understanding and respect for character differences and habits between the couple.
The commitment made with a mature conscience , consolidates the decision to share life together with clear and precise objectives, closer to reality than a passing illusion.
It is natural that as you go through life, love will acquire characteristics that give you greater maturity and awareness . In adulthood infatuation has the same passionate intensity than in youth, but also has the advantage of an emotional and consolidated independence.
Interest in a common project is now presented as precise, possible and real . Far from the volatile and unattainable illusions of the love of the past youth. Illusions that at that time the vicissitudes of life sent to the wind leaving only great disappointment.
But past disappointments are also life experience . Mature love accepts the experience serenely; it’s useful because it has made us more aware of reality. The illusion in adulthood also exists but now the common project is realistic and concrete , and that is why it is more practical but also more authentic .
That’s why in this adult phase, falling in love is enriched by the wisdom that has allowed personal growth and self-esteem . Now we know what we want in a relationship and how to get it, it will be difficult for life to find ourselves unprepared.
WHEN WE ARE CLOSED TO LOVE
It is understandable that sometimes in adulthood, the person closes to love. When you are in love you are more vulnerable .
Disappointments of a love that we believed eternal and unique weigh in memory. We are innately programmed to remember more vividly the negative experiences, to protect us from the dangers and in this case future disappointments.
If this idea remains present in our mind as something fundamental to our existence and prevails over the desire to overcome personal emotional limitations , itwill not allow us to improve ourselves emotionally.
This idea is not convenient; makes some people reluctant to fall in love again , repressing their feelings with apparently rational arguments .
HAVE IT ALL UNDER CONTROL
In front of a possible relationship , these people quickly put a personal situation before them that they consider more important or simply excuse it with their lack of interest , and if that does not convince them enough, they take out the infamous ” do not condition their freedom “.
This attitude is not positive for a person who wants to live life fully , because it blocks their emotions by reducing them in a minimal expression, but above all, it limits their ability to enjoy the emotional opportunities that life offers them.
THE CRISIS OF REALISM
Another danger that sometimes hinders love in adulthood, is the crisis of realism , typical at this stage of life.
There are people who at a certain age have been convinced that falling in love is no longer possible . It is understandable, they have simply become disenchanted. Skepticism pervades the vision of a possible love. Falling in love for them is ” something overcome ” that does not fit into their current or future plans .
Falling in love it considered as a waste of time and a waste of emotional energy. They do not want to complicate their lives and venture into a story that does not ensure a lasting or happy ending. They prefer to dedicate it to themselves , in the comfort that solitude offers .
A LOVE TO OUR MEASURE
After so many situations, an adult knows what he wants from life. Years of reflection have marked our personality and our criteria . Gone are the successes and mistakes and before us we are presented with a more conscious life of what we want in the future.
As we have said so far, one of the advantages offered by the passage of time is that each one knows very well what they want and what they have to offer to the other.
The past of an adult can bring bulky and sometimes heavy luggage, the funny thing is that when there is love, respect for that past is unconditional , because you understand the value of the experiences you have lived.
They do not annul the lived past, they integrate it in the present as part of one’s personal experience . For this reason in mature love, relationships are more wise and full; the couple accepts the other past because they know that experience is what made them be the person it is today, which is the one they love.
It is clear that the maturity of a person is not marked by the years passed as it might be logic to think, but by the wisdom that has been obtained in the learning that those years. For this reason , late loves tend to be more balanced and conscious .
The inner balance that sometimes offers the adult age , gives that security, serenity and optimism that drives the human being to continue experiencing emotions .
MATURITY MAKES YOU ENJOY THE PRESENT
Contrary to what many may think, the passing of time does not always yearn for past times , especially if they have not been pleasant.
Precisely in late loves , the awareness of this ” passing of time ” makes the present moment more valued , for this reason the present is considered the best moment of life , independently if in the past there have been objectively better moments.
Living the rest of life with fullness becomes the main objective and living it with another person will be the culminating goal of your happiness .
That’s why loves in late age are especially exciting . The fact of sharing with another person no longer material things, which pass to a second level, but the deepest and most authentic emotions of the human being, creates an unique, stable, complicit and strongly stimulating bond .
BE OPEN TO LOVE
We all have the capacity to love . Although at the beginning it can catch us by surprise, a late love is one of the most exciting experiences that a human being can experience.
Love is within our reach also at a later age, it is enough to be open to it . We do not have to spend the rest of our lives alone, if life itself offers us an opportunity to share our present and our future with another person.